Paid in Full (D.A.R.E.)

I work. A lot. So I hardly ever have time to write how I would like. But today at work some lines just came to me outta nowhere & I ran with it. Over the course of the day, between ringing up customers & completing other tasks I finished probably some of the best shit I ever wrote. I know I said that in my last entry but I really feel like I'm getting better each time; my heart is FULLY exposed now. I feel like within this "poem" & because of this "poem" I've found peace in the situation that I'm in & who I'm with. Or not with.

My voice 
Silent, calm 
I didn't dare project
What my heart was too scared to reflect
Inside my head I was screaming
"Don't you DARE do this to me again!"


How can I object?
When SHE'S the subject?


My heart hasn't gotten any rest yet
If I pack in too much hurt
If I pack in too much pain
I feel like it's gonna burst outta my chest
My eyes try to close
My mind tries to forget
My heart tries to erase 
But my soul knows


These feelings have burrowed 
Embedded, engraved
Water flowing
Hoping to wash it all away
But the stain stems too deep 
It's here to stay


As my feelings are getting deeper
The climb to get to you is getting steeper
It grows from anger, to hurt, to disappointment
Take a shot
Pop a pill
Just to feel the numbness
Tryna hold it together
So I don't say you're full of shit
But me walking away would say I don't want none of this 
& me staying, tight lipped would say that I'm okay with it


This 
Situation that we've been placed in
My mind spaced out
My soul levitating
My high elevated
I'm sobering up
Now I see what it really is 
The reason why you're hesitating
I'll have my love paid in full
No apologies 
You are accepted