Influence: Eminem

So lately I've been in this rut, haven't really been blogging lately. I've been feeling weird, and have been feeling like what I think or say doesn't matter anymore. But then I thought about all the talents I've been blessed with, I think what I have to say matters, whether I like it or not.

Eminem. Amazing guy. With his reemergence with the guest spot on Wayne's "Drop the World" and B.o.b.'s "Airplanes Pt. 2", I can't help but be excited for his CD Recovery to drop in June.

I just love how he attacks every beat he's on. His energy is amazing on every single track. He has this "fuck you, I'm doing me" attitude that I love and have needed to hear the past couple of weeks.

His verse in "Airplanes Pt. 2" is one of my favorite verses of his. I listened to his verse & I felt like he was talking directly to me. I was at a point in my life where I felt kind of lazy and hesitant with making music my career. I gotta do more than just wish and hope that this happens; I gotta be pro-active in making my dreams a reality. After hearing this, I finally realized that I am who I am to make music, and it's gonna take more than just talent out of me to make it happen.


"The Way I Am" might be just my favorite song of his. I've been playing this constantly when I'm angry or just in my "I don't give a fuck" mood. It has helped me see things differently. I am who I am, nothing else really matters after that.


This is a freestyle that he came out with today; mixing both "Over" and "Beamer, Benz, or Bentley" beats and killing them both.


I just really admire him, he puts his everything into his music. Which is what I'll be doing as well.

His single for his CD drops on Friday titled "Not Afraid".

We All Walk in Different Shoes

Are we killing ourselves?

Before my spring break, my sociology teacher showed us the video "Killing us Softly 3" by Jean Kilbourn about how advertising affects women and how they see theirselves. It was a really good video but some of the images and arguments that she posted were far fetched and exaggerated, of course to prove her point. She was very convincing. This was the second time I had viewed the video & I had wanted to sound off on this before, but seeing it this time around made me see things differently.

For homework we had to find an ad in a newspaper or magazine that supported or dissagreed with her argument. At 1st I though that this assignment would be easy. I looked for pictures of women in suggestive poses, women with no clothes, women who were thought to be used as "sex objects" to sell the product. As I poured over my mother's issues of Vogue, I found myself reading into every image that I saw, wondering if it supported Jean's thesis. Then I had to stop myself and ask, "Wait, do I really agree with her, or am I taking the easy way out agreeing with her?" Seeing the video the second time made me put things in perspective. I saw her aim and what she wanted to accomplish with her agrument. With these arguments you want to bring up and showcasew the mose extreme information to support what you claim. She interpreted some of the ads how she wanted to, she was convincing. Which is why I tore out two pictures that supported her before stopping myself. One was of a breast implant ad, and the other was a women in a Disel ad only wearing underwear. I saw more pictures that I could've tore out but to tell the truth I wasn't offended or felt how

Jean Kilborn woul've felt if she viewed these images. I felt that these pictures were jus the vision and what the designer or company thought how to best sell their product. For the ads that are conterversial or out there, they're created that way to produce the reaction they want that will more than likely prompt the person to take a second look. I don't think they sit and think, "How can we best make women offended, mad or even feel like crap?" Like a line from my favorit show Secret Life of The American Teenager,"It's called SELF-esteem for a reason." Wome have to stop looking for ads or spreads in magazines that are going to build us up. These images are purely to show off the merchandise, the vision. The models aren't the focus, they're just a factor.

America as a country is so obsessed with images, dealing with the body and how we view ourselves. It's one of the reasons why we have so many eating disorders. It made me think: Why are other countries so comfortable with their bodies and what they think beauty is? Does this make them unorthodox, outrageous people because they view the human body and present theirselves differently? I look at human anatomy differently as well; it's art. Our canvas, our temple. When I get totally comfortable with myself and my body, I'm for sure hitting up a nudist beach overseas.

With all this running through my mind, I was better prepared to find an image that supported MY agrument. I came across a Kenneth Cole ad campaign from '08 where he picked everyday people who defied the norms.

The one that I tore out was of this transgender woman Nina Poon, she's gorgeous. I ultimately wanted to present something that I believed. I was happy I gave myself a chance to think about how I felt and not give into what Jean Kilborn wanted me to feel.

Our teacher made us come up and present our ads and made a tally after we stated our side. By the end, it was 18 1/2 supporters vs. 4 1/2 non-supporters. My friend Carolina who was in the supporting category said, " I didn't agree with her either but it was easier to find an ad." I understood what she was sayinh but I wondered how many other people other people took the same route.

Something new..

Things need to change, I can feel it. Everything in my life needs an upgrade, a face-lift, whatever you want to call it. Including this blog. I may revamp it, delete the past entries and move forward, or I might just delete the blog and start all over. I've neglected this because of my crappy computer. I want to create a place where people can just see positivity through different art forms. That is my aim.

Video Visions

In a world full of the normal, short, non inspiring music videos, Lady Gaga continues to wow me with these mini movie concepts. I was kind of skeptical when I first heard that the video was released yesterday and that the video was a little over 9 mins! I took a chance and was entranced by the video. Even though the concept of her going to jail singing that she's in a club was kind of confusing but I really gotta give big ups to Lady Gaga, nobody's doing what she's doing right now. You can really tell that everything that she does creatively, she gives it her all and pushing the limits, that's something to be admired for. Genius!

New Year...

I've survived the first decade of 2000! And I'm about to be 19, my last teen year. =]

I'm back home. For how long, I have no idea. I have to get used to being back here, I adored the freedom and solitude down in Columbus. Here there's rules and restrictions that I have to adhere to. I have to get a job, I need an internship this summer. I have to put myself in the position to be seen as a canidate for them with some credentials. Fashion blog and fashion column at my new school. Since Cleveland is not really big on fashion, like knowing designers, I have to spin it differently, and having the fashion blog will give me a chance to talk and just mush over fashion, post some of my outfits and inspirations and just give me a platform if I want a fashion internship this summer.

Yes, I have a lot of drive and so many ambitions. But I have no fun. This year I wanna do things differently. I don't really have New Years Resolutions but I have an idea of some of the things that I want to do.

1. Learn how to cook
2. Bake more
3. Learn how to skateboard
4. Write more
5. Photograph more
6. Revamp my look; I wanna dress how I want to
7. Live and live with no regrett

There's more but I've forgotten. This list seems doable. Life is really about creating your own oppurtunities and make the most of the ones placed before you. I really have none to waste if I wanna get where I want to be.

Influence: Gordon Parks

I've been so busy with school that I've been neglecting showcasing my influences and replays of the week. So whenever I have time to do so, that's when I'll do it.

Gordon Park was something like a Renaissance man. Photographer, director, composer, writer of fiction and non fiction; he's certainly lived a rich and colorful life.

I just read one of his memoirs(you know you've lived a great life if you're writing multiple memiors!) named A Hungry Heart and it's one amazing book. You travel with him and see the world and different events through his eyes. He meets and shoots some incredible people including sdxf Malcolm X, Muhammed Ali, and directing the classic movie Shaft.

He will be very influencial for me in my future and even now. He moved from job to job and had artistic integrity, something I wish to keep with me throughout my whole life. He worked extra hard to get where he was and didn't waste one oppurtunity. He depicted and went after assignments that other people thought could only be said with words. He pushed boundaries. I really admire him for that.


I wish he was alive because it would be amazing to meet and talk with him, have him tell me stories, give me tips and give bits of wisdom.

I wanna be a Renaissance woman.

Black & White

l(Click images to view larger.)
Black and White photography is so interesting to me. It's captivating, taking the color out but adding so much more. Don't get me wrong, I love color photos as well, they really give life and energy to the picture. Black and White photography is more classic to me, it requires the audience to think more, feel more. I feel that even though it takes the color out, it adds depth, emotion, feeling to the picture. To me with certain shots black and white is breathtaking. During the few times I've went and shot with my camera, I'm beginning to learn the power of black and white and it's my favorite setting to shoot in.

Ramblings # 1

I love to read but my absolute favorite thing to read are historical novels. It's so interesting to see how a author can weave a whole story with little or no facts on something that happened in history. I've always loved the Victorian period, and mythology the best. I've read many books on the Boleyn sisters and Helen of Troy, they fascinate me so much. Just knowing that it happened or may have happened makes it all the more real to me. Or the author could be way off and have nothing right, but it's still a story. A story to enjoy.

The "Dark" Side of things...

I believe that every thing has two sides to it. "Every story has two sides, the good and bad." Just like that I think that every relationship, situation, person, even religion has two sides. Nothing is at all perfect or pure anymore.

So Rihanna recently came out with her new single Russian Roulette from her highly anticipated new album Rated R. The song as a whole is beautiful, Ne-yo has done it again with his touching words. The words, the music and effects captured how Rihanna feels/felt after all what's going on in her life. But it's just so depressing, I'm afraid it won't get that much radio play because of it's content. The gunshots, the subject of the song.

No doubt this song has got people talking. Surprisingly famous musical artists are talking as well and are speaking out. ConcreteLoop first posted the story that Tiffany Evans spoke out about it you can read about it here.

"Russian Roulette = Suicidal Rate gon sky rocket!

You gotta watch what u say. Because there are a lot of weak people in the world. They are susceptible to anything so anything you say or do some people actually do listen. So make sure its nothing bad. Its okay to be deep,but not murder deep."

This is just a piece of what she said. Reading this made me think. That there are artists out there that are out there using their power and fame for evil, they will do anything and everything to stay there, even if it means putting out material that may harm their listeners. If it was intentional or or not, it still happens.

Then Omarion speaks out as well. You can read it here.

"I don’t personally know Rihanna’s beliefs but I think there’s a very dark and very sinister part of the entertainment business and I think it’s very visible."

Don't you realize at after a while most artists who have grown up in the music business take a sharp turn towards sex when they're like 18 or 19? They start learning that sex sells. Britney, Christina, Justin Timberlake and now Rihanna. Yes with her last album that was truly her debut album I admit, when she really showed the world who she is. But now she's just talking a dark turn with her music. I know for a fact that she's not putting up a front because she's confident about her image and the direction her music is going. But does she really realize the material that she puts out doesn't only affect teenagers, but that little kids do too? They don't have the mental capabilities to understand the metaphor in that song.

Rihanna is also linked to illmatics and Freemasonry along with Jay-Z, Beyonce, Kanye West and Nas. Don't know if I believe in all that, but I do believe that these music artists have a responsibility and play a big role in their listeners lives and should use it wisely.